Category Archives: Uncategorized

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 12: Finishing Touches on Long Documents

Welcome to the LAST session in this boot camp! In this session we’re going to cover what I think of as finishing touches. These are things not all documents necessarily need, but that are especially useful for long documents: Opening (or Executive) Summaries and Tables of Contents.

Opening Summaries

When you have a long document and you know some readers are mainly interested in the conclusions, consider including an opening or “executive” summary. (Executive summaries were originally meant to provide executives with essential information and specific recommendations about business decisions they’d be making.) Executive summaries aren’t just for execs, however. They’re for everyone who wants to understand the issues and conclusions without necessarily reading the entire document.

People often ask me how long an executive summary should be. There’s no definitive answer. Instead of worrying about the ideal length, focus on providing information the reader needs in a clear, concise manner. If you do, you’ll always end up with summaries that are the right length.

Treat Summaries as Stand-Alone Documents

Though executive summaries are usually included as part of the document, you should treat them as stand-alone documents. In other words, you should give the reader enough information to understand the issues without having to read the underlying document. So, for example, if you use jargon or any acronyms in the summary, you must define them in the summary. (You cannot rely on the fact that you defined them in the main document because not all readers will read the full document.) Also, if your summary is longish, the summary should include headings and sub-headings.

At a minimum, the summary should contain a description of the issues and your conclusions related to the issues. As well, the summary should include information that helps the reader decide if they agree with the conclusions you’ve come to.

It’s customary to present the arguments and ideas in the summary in the same order you presented them in the underlying document. Doing so makes it easier for readers to find details in the main document. Similarly, if you included headings in the summary, they should parallel those in the main document so that readers can cross-reference them.

Tables of Contents

A Table of Contents is basically a list of the document’s main headings and sub-headings, along with page numbers showing where to find them. Tables of Content (ToCs for short) are especially important in longer documents because they help readers find specific information quickly. But that’s not the only reason they’re useful.

If you crafted meaningful headings and sub-headings, the Table of Contents will provide a quick overview of the topics and arguments in the document. As the author, review the ToC carefully – considering both whether the headings are helpful AND whether the topics are in a logical order. A critical review of the ToC may also help you spot weaknesses or information that’s missing and that you should further revise.

Closing Thoughts About the Boot Camp…

We covered a lot of ground in the 12 sessions. I imagine you found some topics easy – probably more of a refresher – and others that were more challenging for you. Regardless, just keep at it, consciously focusing on all the things we covered. If you do, I’m sure your writing will continue to improve.

And finally, always remember that the true key to better writing is to write with the reader in mind.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 11: Revising, Copy Editing, and Proofreading

Welcome to Session 11 of the Better Writing Boot Camp. This is the second-last session, so we’re in the home stretch. But, don’t let your energy or focus relax just yet – the remaining couple of topics are also important.

Today we’re looking at the differences between revising, copy editing, and proofreading. I find that when writers understand the differences – and approach each as a separate task – their writing is much clearer.

Many writers talk about “editing” their work. Usually they’re talking about basically the second last step they take before giving the document to the end reader. In other words, it’s a step that can include everything from revising, to clarifying, to tidying up the document. Because the skills, techniques, and attention involved in revising, copy editing, and proofreading are different, you should treat them as separate steps.

Revising

Revising involves reading the document from the perspective of the reader. In other words, when revising, you should ask yourself whether:

· you’ve included all the information the reader needs – if not, now’s the time to fill in the gaps in the analysis

· all the information is clear to the reader

· the information is in an order that makes sense to the reader – if not, take time to rearrange the information

· the information is sufficiently detailed but concise – if not, focus the information by trimming out anything that is unimportant

Writers sometimes gloss over this important step. They may do so because they feel they’ve been paying attention to these things as they were writing. Or, if they took time to create an outline before they started, they feel they considered these things at that point. But, regardless of how careful and thoughtful you were when writing, of necessity, your focus was from the storyteller’s perspective. Revising is about analysing the information from the reader’s perspective so you must approach revising as a distinct task.

Sometimes writers are not able to objectively review their writing from the reader’s perspective. This can happen, for example, if you’ve been working on a document for some time or have written many preliminary drafts. If this is the case, you should find someone who can read it and provide honest, objective feedback. (In the world of professional editing, what you’d be looking for is someone skilled at “substantive” or “content” editing.)

After you’ve finished revising the document and have a more-or-less final draft, it’s time for copy editing.

Copy Editing versus Proofreading

Many folks use copy editing and proof reading interchangeably. Strictly speaking, they are not the same. Copy editing is editing for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and checking for formatting inconsistencies, repetition, and so on. Copy editing also includes fact checking and verifying references and citations.

Proofreading is a separate step that’s done after you’ve revised the document and after it’s been copy edited. Strictly speaking, proofreading happens after a manuscript is printed but before it is distributed. It is basically a final read to catch typos, inconsistent spellings, bad line or page breaks, missing pages, and so on.

That said, a skilled copy editor will often be sufficient to catch proofreading-type errors in standard business documents.

Closing thoughts…

Revising and copy editing are important steps in creating a document. Don’t skip either of them. Revising helps ensure your writing is clear, with all the sentences, paragraphs, and ideas working together to make the reader’s trip toward understanding effortless. Copy editing helps uphold your reputation as a skilled, knowledgeable professional.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 10: How to Craft Bullet Lists

In the last Boot Camp session we looked at why you should use bullet lists in your business writing. In this session, we’ll focus on how to craft a good bullet list. I’ll also give you my quick-and-dirty “rules of thumb” related to bullet lists – including my suggestions for punctuating them.

Structuring a Vertical List

There are two parts to a bullet list: the preamble and the bullet points themselves. As I mentioned in the last Boot Camp session, the preamble introduces each item on the list. The preamble can be a single word, a phrase, or a full sentence. Here’s a bullet list from the beginning of Session 9:

I’m a big fan of vertical lists. A well-crafted list is a terrific way to:

provide visual appeal
draw attention to particular information
reinforce relationships among ideas/items
limit repetitious wording

“A well-crafted list is a terrific way to:” is the preamble of that list.

Crafting the Preamble

The most important thing to remember about the preamble is that it must work for EVERY item on the list. So, when you read the preamble’s words together with the words in an item on the list, you have a grammatically correct, complete idea. When crafting a list, it’s important to test each bullet with the preamble. By doing this, you will be able to tell right away if an item doesn’t work. And, if an item doesn’t work, it’s up to you to:

omit the item from the list, or
modify the preamble.

Here’s what the preamble test for the two-item bullet list above looks like:

… it’s up to you to omit the item

… it’s up to you to modify the preamble

Whew, both items work with the preamble.

Crafting the Items in the List

Regarding the bulleted items themselves, every item must be:

structured the same grammatically, and
related to the other items listed (in terms of content).

In terms of grammatical structure, the two items in the number list above are similarly structured (for example, both initial adjectives end in “ed”). In the numbered list under the heading: Crafting the Preamble, on the other hand, both items started with an infinitive form of the verbs.

Both items on the numbered list are contextually related because both are criteria that each bulleted item must satisfy. Of course, when the list is short, there’s less of a chance you’ll include something that doesn’t relate to the other item(s). If you find items that don’t belong, don’t include them in the list. (If many items don’t work with the preamble or don’t seem to relate to the other items, consider ditching the list.)

Exercise

Here’s an example of a poorly crafted bullet list from a bank’s Human Resources manual. Can you tell what’s wrong with it? How would you fix it?

A personal banking officer (PBO):

Provides customers with one-stop shopping for all retail product sales;
Responsible for identifying, understanding and meeting customers’ financial needs;
Follows a disciplined approach to proactive sales activities;
Generally located in a private cubical.

The Problems

The list has two problems:

The structure of the items is not the same.
The last item isn’t directly related to the others – three are responsibilities of a PBO but the last is about where the PBO sits!

Solution

Here’s how I would fix the list:

A personal banking officer’s (PBO’s) responsibilities include:

providing customers with one-stop shopping for all retail product sales;
identifying, understanding, and meeting customers’ financial needs; and
following a disciplined approach to proactive sales activities.

PBOs are generally located in a private cubical.

Rules of Thumb

Since bullet lists aren’t grammatical constructs, there are no strict rules related to punctuating them. But, there are some “best practices” that I can share with you. These rules of thumb fall into two categories: some I believe you must follow and some that are strong suggestions.

When creating a Bullet List, you must follow these rules:

The preamble must make sense for every item in the list.
The end punctuation of the preamble must be a colon.
The items in the list must be structured the same.
The items must be contextually related.

When creating a Bullet List, I recommend you also follow these rules:

If every item in the list is short (fewer than three words), you don’t need any punctuation. Alternatively, if you want to, you can use a comma at the end of each item and a period on the last item.
If the items are long but none are complete sentences, use a semicolon at the end of each and a period on the last item.
If any of the items contain punctuation within them, use semicolons at the end of each and a period on the last item.
If the items are full sentences, begin each with initial caps and end each with a period.
If items are not complete sentences, you can use initial lower case letters.
Don’t use numbers or letters (instead of bullets) unless you have a reason to. For example, if you want to draw the reader’s attention to the fact that there are four rules, by all means, number them.

A last word on formatting

Many word processing programs indent bullets. Such formatting is terrific because it adds to the visual appeal and so on. If your program isn’t set up to automatically indent bullets, see if you can change the default settings.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 9: Using Bullet Lists to Your Advantage

Bullet lists – also called vertical lists – are a useful, popular writing tool. Indeed, wide-spread adoption of PowerPoint in the business world is probably one of the reasons bullet lists are so widely used. (The default setting for many PowerPoint templates is a title and then a bullet list.)

I’m a big fan of vertical lists. A well-crafted list is a terrific way to:

provide visual appeal
draw attention to particular information
reinforce relationships among ideas/items
limit repetitious wording

I’ll talk a bit about each of these pluses in a minute. But, before I do, did you notice that I specifically said a “well-crafted” list? I draw your attention to this because a poorly crafted bullet lists can be confusing and frustrating for readers. (They also make the writer seem lazy or careless.) Here’s an example of a poorly crafted bullet list:

Here are some of the actions developers use that can be beneficial to the developer and community members:

Showing a commitment to two-way communication
Straightforward, timely, accurate information about the proposed project
Public information meetings to explain proposed projects

Visual Appeal

The visual appeal I’m talking about isn’t because you’ve chosen nice looking symbols to mark the list items. The visual appeal comes from the fact that with a vertical list there is more white space on the page. More white space makes the document look more welcoming to readers, which is very important.

Drawing Attention to Information

The added white space provided by a vertical list also helps draw the reader’s attention to the information contained in the list. Bullet lists are a visual cue that readers remember – even if they don’t remember the specific information provided in a vertical list. So, if they go back and look for information, it’s more likely they’ll find it by looking for a list.

Think about a list of items you’re enclosing or attaching. By listing them vertically – instead of in a sentence with a commas between items – readers immediately sense how many (or few) items there are. As well, readers can quickly scan the list for an idea of what’s included. And, if they go back to find the list, it’ll jump out at them because of the vertical formatting.

Reinforcing Relationships

When a reader sees a bullet list, they automatically assume the items are related. This helps increase their understanding and can help them make connections and remember the points listed.

Limiting repetition

Because the items in a vertical list are related, they have something in common. So, the list’s introduction – the “preamble” – should contain the words/ideas each item has in common. As a result, the preamble replaces words you’d otherwise write with respect to each item. The result: no repetition.

Why Folks Struggle with Crafting Bullet Lists

Many business writers have trouble crafting bullet lists. This is probably because they were never taught how to. One reason no one taught you how to structure – or punctuate – a bullet list is because such lists aren’t – strictly speaking – a grammatical construct. As a result, there are no universal rules about how to craft them. (Unlike, for example, the rule about ending sentences with something that demonstrates a full stop, like a period, question mark, or exclamation mark.)

In the next Boot Camp session – which I’ll post later this week – we’ll talk about how to craft a good bullet list.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Stretch Break

We’re over half way through the boot camp – good job! How are you feeling about your progress so far?

While you’re taking a bit of a stretch break, I thought I’d make a couple general comments. These might be obvious, but I think they’re worth specifically pointing out.

It’s all about the reader

First and foremost, I’m hoping you’ve realized that the real secret to being a better writer is to focus on your reader’s needs. What we’re doing with each session is focusing on one thing that – if done well – will help your readers. In each Session I try explaining how or why improving in that one way will help make the reader’s job easier. For example, using transitions (Session 3) is a way to help guide the reader through your argument or idea. They help ensure the reader doesn’t veer off course – or miss any important points. Using active voice (Session 5) isn’t just about making things livelier – it makes clear to readers who’s responsible for actions or decisions.

Indeed, helping readers get through your document and understand the points you’re making is good for business. At a minimum, it shows you care and respect your readers. It also empowers them to make reasoned decisions and to take action. And, it makes you look smart – smart enough to share your knowledge and expertise in a way that they understand.

Don’t be a slave to old rules

The other point you may have noticed is that it’s ok to break some of the “rules”. Indeed, after the very first Session I got an email from a reader chiding me for splitting an infinitive. (If you missed it, the last sentence of Session 1 had the split infinitive that didn’t sit right with the reader.) You probably noticed in Session 2 that I ended a sentence with a preposition – another alleged grammar no-no. (Here’s the sentence: “The key to clear paragraphs is making sure each sentence relates to the theme or thesis you’re writing about.”)

There’s evidence that these “rules” were created by folks who were trying to make English grammar conform to Latin grammar. But, we’re living in the 21^st century so there’s a strong argument these rules are irrelevant. Furthermore, applying them can result in awkward – or clumsy – sentences. For example, to ensure the correct emphasis, it’s often absolutely necessary to split an infinitive. Similarly, if it’s more natural to end a sentence with a preposition, feel free to.

Another rule I routinely break relates to starting sentences with conjunctions like “and” or “but”. Many folks learned it’s incorrect to do so. I’ll bet you learned this “rule” in elementary school. There’s no basis in English grammar for this supposed rule, however. Teachers made this rule up to prevent you from making another grammatical mistake. Teachers thought that that by starting with “and” or “but”, students were more likely to write a sentence fragment. To prevent that possibility, they created the “rule” about not starting with those words. As long as you’re careful about crafting a sentence that includes a full thought, feel free to disregard what your elementary school teacher said.

Don’t be shy about sending feedback

And finally, I want to thank the readers who have dropped me a line. The feedback is great. It helps me understand what you’re finding useful, and what you might appreciate my help with. So, keep the feedback coming!

Until next session, keep up the terrific work!

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 7: Reducing Jargon

Jargon is a word or phrase that has a special meaning when used in a particular technical field, industry, group, or situation. Jargon can be useful shorthand, so long as you’re sure everyone you’re talking to or writing knows and understands the precise meaning.

People often think jargon must sound technical or exotic. Legal maxims spouted in Latin are often what folks point to when asked to define jargon. The Latin phrase res ipsa loquitur, for example, is exotic-sounding jargon a lawyer might use when talking about evidence. (The phrase basically means something speaks for itself.)

But, what many folks don’t realize is that common words can be jargon too. Take a simple word like “sheet” – depending on the context, it can be jargon. How, you ask? If someone says, “pass me that sheet”, they might be referring to one of (at least) four different things:

a piece of paper
a bed covering
a piece of glass
a rope

The last example comes from the sailing world, where certain ropes are “sheets”. Indeed, learning to sail isn’t just about learning to handle a boat – it’s also about learning a new language. So long as everyone on board speaks sailing, using sailing jargon saves time and reduces the chance something might go wrong!

Why do people use jargon?

As noted, jargon can function as shorthand that can save time, which can be crucial in emergency situations. Some professionals use jargon specifically to differentiate themselves or to exclude others. And yes, that often means professionals judge peers and colleagues based on whether they’re fluent with the jargon of their field.

Problems with Jargon

Using jargon can create a variety of problems, however. The most obvious problem is when you use jargon and the person hearing it (or reading it) doesn’t understand it. (Using res ipsa loquitur in a non-legal document is an example.) Of course, by taking the time to define the jargon for your audience you can solve part of the communication problem. But, simply defining the term doesn’t address another problem: using jargon often alienates folks, which is never a good communication outcome.

Another problem with using jargon is that the same word or phrase can mean different things to different people. Of course, in many situations, there are other clues that help minimize the confusion. If you’re standing near a photocopy machine when someone says “pass me the sheet”, you’d realize they’re not talking about a rope. But making assumptions based on circumstances is always dangerous.

A separate, but related problem can occur with jargon when someone doesn’t appreciate the technical sense the speaker/writer intends. This is more likely to happen when the jargon you are using involves common words.

Another problem with jargon that many fail to appreciate is that jargon can be confusing even among members of the same profession. Take, for example, a situation where a tax attorney was making a presentation at a tax conference. One of her key arguments was that a particular transaction was favourable because of the capital gains treatment. She didn’t realize, however, that some lawyers in the audience were from countries where the capital gains treatment was very different. It never occurred to her to explain how she calculated the capital gain because she assumed all the lawyers were on the same page. The end result was that some considered her analysis flawed because they were mentally applying their country’s capital gains calculation.

Dealing with Jargon

Given the name of today’s boot camp session, I believe the best way to avoid confusion is to not use jargon. Of course, in certain situations and at certain times, you may decide using jargon is fine, or even preferred. In those situations, ask yourself the following:

Will everyone understand the term is jargon?
Will everyone understand the meaning I intend?

If the answer to either question is no – or even “maybe not” – then take the time to define for the audience what you mean. (If you don’t want to break up the flow, consider providing the definition in a footnote or glossary.) I promise you, no one will object to you setting out your meaning and you’ll enhance your reputation as a clear communicator.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 6: Passive Resistance

Have you ever read a sentence in a business communication and thought to yourself: “Who says?” or “Who did that?” or “Who made that decision?”

Here are a few examples:

Sentence A: A mistake in processing your order was made.

Sentence B: Your application has been reviewed and it is denied.

Both these sentences are in passive voice and so they leave the reader not knowing who took the actions. In Sentence A we don’t know who made the mistake and in Sentence B we don’t know who reviewed the application or who denied it.

Why use active voice?

Sentences written in active voice are more interesting. Consider these sentences:

Sentence C: Gretzky scored the game winning goal.

Sentence D: The game winning goal was scored by Gretzky.

Both provide the same information. But, Sentence C, which is in active voice, is livelier. Why? The subject of the sentence – Gretzky – took the action – he scored the goal. With passive voice, the subject of the sentence is not the actor. In Sentence D, the subject is the goal.

Here’s another pair of sentences:

Sentence E: A pail of water from atop the hill was fetched by Jack and Jill.

Sentence F: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Sentence E is passive: the subject of the sentence is the pail – and a pail can’t take an action. Instead, the pail was acted on – it was fetched – by Jack and Jill. In Sentence F – the one in active voice – Jack and Jill are the subject and they took the action.

Some business writers think that by writing in passive voice, a statement seems less personal or less pointed. That argument doesn’t necessarily hold up. If I were on the receiving end of a processing mistake, I would rather be told: “We made a mistake in processing your order.” Though I don’t know specifically who the “we” is – active voice at least tells me the company is claiming responsibility for the mistake.

Another plus with sentences written in active voice is they are shorter, which, as you remember from anther Boot Camp Session, is better.

Recognizing passives

To recognize passive voice, look for the following two things in the sentence:

Some form of “to be” – for example: “as”, “are”, “is”, “was”, “were”, and so on
A past participle – usually a verb ending in “ed” or “en”

In Sentence E, for example, “was” is the “to be” verb and “fetched” is the participle.

You can also enable Word’s grammar function to spot passives. Whenever Word flags a passive, I take a moment to review the sentence and figure out what makes it passive. Then, unless I have a good reason to leave it in passive voice, I re-cast it in active voice.

Fixing passive sentences

I’ll admit that writing in active voice doesn’t always come natural to me. As a result, I put a lot of effort into spotting my passive sentences and correcting them.

If you use active voice as much as possible, you’ll be a better writer. Your writing will be more concise and you’ll leave readers with fewer questions.

Better Writing Boot Camp – Session 5: Making Things Personal

By now, I hope you’ve realized that the skills you’re honing each session are building on each other. With that in mind, in this session we’re focusing on making things personal. In other words, using pronouns like “I”, “we”, and “our” to refer to your business or the viewpoint you’re presenting in your documents. We’ll also look at why you should refer to the reader as “you”, or their proper name, if appropriate.

Many people were taught that business writing is “supposed to be more formal” than other kinds of writing. As a result, they think that using first person – referring to their business as “we” or “us” – is unacceptably informal. As we noted in Session 4, the argument that writing should be more formal than spoken language is no longer relevant. And, because there’s nothing sacred about business writing, there’s no reason it should be more formal than any other writing.

In fact, there are lots of reasons to use first person in business writing. First person is direct and more authentic because it reminds the reader someone is behind the information. In a business-to-business context, using first person signals to customers that there are people behind the goods or services the business offers. First person is also more authoritative, which is especially important when the document sets out your professional opinion, for example. Using first person reinforces the fact that you stand by your statement.

If you’ve noticed that others in your company or organization use the formal third person, find out why. Chances are people have assumed there was some corporate dictate about avoiding first person because everyone seems to avoid it. It’s also likely that no formal decision to refrain from first person was ever made. If your organization is one of the few that has an actual policy requiring third person, set to work trying to revise it. You can start by using first person and if someone tells you to change it, explain the benefits of first person. You may not win the argument in the short term, but keep at it – it’s a fight worth having.

Writers who are reluctant to use first person also often avoid referring to the reader as “you” – in other words, in the second person. Say, for example, you’re writing a letter offering someone employment. If the person you’re writing takes the job, the offer letter is, in effect, a contract. After the initial greeting (the salutation) – don’t do what many do, which is refer to the person as “the employee” rather than the familiar “you”. How impersonal can you get? Do you want to work for someone who thinks of you simply as “the employee”? I don’t….

Referring to the reader as “you” is more direct and it helps involve the reader. It’s especially important when the purpose for your document is to get the reader to take action

Gaining comfort – and confidence – using I, we, and you will help make your writing more conversational and easier for readers to understand. It will also help you avoid the passive voice, which we’ll discuss in an upcoming session.

Better Writing Boot Camp — Session 4: Using Plain, Simple Words

This session we look at using ordinary, simple words in business writing. Somewhere early in their career, many business folks get in the habit of using formal words when they write. When I ask why, the most common response is that they learned writing is supposed to be more formal than speaking. Interestingly, they don’t seem to think about where that idea may have originated. It probably goes back to times when folks wrote on parchment or papyrus – or when they literally carved words into stone. But in the twenty-first century, the expectation that people use more formal language in writing is no longer true.

I also think business people use non-ordinary words out of insecurity and a misplaced belief they sound professional or authoritative. Others use formal language because their colleagues do and they think they must do so to fit in. Laziness is also involved. If you’ve picked up work-related vocabulary, it’s easier to go with the flow. Also, translating concepts and ideas into ordinary words can be time consuming. Why bother when no one else in your office does? Mindless acceptance of MS Word’s Spelling & Grammar recommendations can also cause introduction of overly formal word choices. For example, my version always suggests using “therefore” instead of “so”. That’s ridiculous.

Wonder if I’m talking to you? I am if you’ve ever written a client or colleague something like: “the meeting will commence at 10”. Commence? Would you tell your spouse that you daughter’s play date commences at 10? No – you’d say it starts at 10. Or, have you ever written something like this: “When queried, Arlene said I need to furnish the information on or before noon.” Queried? Furnish? On or before? Why not: “I asked Arlene and she said I must give her the information by noon.”

Or maybe you’ve written something like this in a business letter: “Pursuant to our discussion, please furnish us with the aggregate amount per annum that your team spent on securing assistance with payroll.” Why not: “As we discussed, please give us the total amount per year that your team spent for help with payroll.

Here are some words and phrases you can practice making plainer: elect, ameliorate, in the event, subsequent, prior, aggregate, implement, necessitate, sufficient, exhaustive, pursuant to, consensus. If you have trouble coming up with a plain alternative for a word, look up synonyms of the word. (I turn to merriam-webster.com for this kind of help all the time. Just look up the word and click on the “synonyms and antonyms” link.)

Using ordinary words isn’t about dumbing down information. It’s about making information understandable to as wide an audience as possible. If that’s not a good enough reason to work at using plain language, there’s something in it for you too. You’ll find that translating concepts into ordinary words tests your understanding of what you’ve written.

In a future session we’ll focus on avoiding jargon – that’s an even trickier issue to deal with. But, you’ll be in better shape for that workout if you practice – and master – using plain words in your business writing.

Better Writing Boot Camp — Session 3: Using Transitions

Like a fitness boot camp, each week builds on the previous weeks’ work. So, by this point you’re probably good at spotting long sentences and shortening them. You should also be used to crafting solid paragraphs.

This session we turn our attention to using transitions – words and phrases like: “as a result”, “in fact”, “but”, “even so”, and so on. Transitions help readers understand how the ideas set out in the paragraphs are connected. They express relationships between ideas and signal how the author’s ideas flow. Think of them as the mortar between the paragraph building blocks.

Business writers are sometimes reluctant to use transitions because they think the ideas they’re writing about are obvious. In other words, they believe the reader doesn’t need help making the mental connection. Writers who’ve been working on a document for some time are more likely to come to this mistaken conclusion. They forget the poor reader is new to the information and don’t realize readers appreciate it when connections are clear.

Another excuse writers sometimes give for not including transitions is they want to be concise. While striving to be concise is good, making things easy for readers by adding a few words is just as important.

Generic transitions are cues that keep readers on track. They signal contrast (“on the other hand”), comparison (“similarly”), emphasis (“in fact”), conclusions (“in short”), cause and effect (“therefore”), and so on. Choose transitions carefully because they carry subtly different meanings. For example, “earlier” and “since” both convey timing, but they mean very different things.

Substantive transitions provide connection and new content. With these, the author usually reiterates or refers to a point previously made and then adds to it. Here’s an example:

The trainer’s methods were complicated and involved a lot of equipment. Though the methods yielded results, no one signed up for the advanced camp.

The italicized transition refers back to an idea in the first sentence but the rest of the sentence then offers a contrast.

Because transitions are cues for readers, the best place to put them is at the point of connection. Here’s an example:

The participants were tired and frustrated. As a result, they all quit.

There’s no reason for not using transitions generously. After all, they help readers follow your line of thinking, which is the goal of all business writing.

Good with Words

Clearly written … easily understood