The most effective business communications are reader-focused.

Reader-focused writing is more than just good, clear communication. It’s writing that’s focused on the relevance of the information to the audience. Creating reader-focused writing takes effort and attention. Basically, you have to think about things like:

• What does the reader need to know?
• What is relevant to the reader?
• What does the reader care about?
• Have I answered the reader’s questions, or addressed the reader’s concerns?

I was reminded of how important reader-focused communication is rather unexpectedly yesterday, so I thought I’d share the story.

I recently joined the Board of a local food bank. The food bank’s proper name includes the name of the neighborhood it originally served. A few years ago, however, it moved to a new location and its mission has expanded to include more than serving as a food pantry. As a result, the organization’s been trying to establish a new “brand” and it now goes by its initials (which are stylized into a colourful logo).

Unfortunately, it’s initials don’t form a particularly interesting or memorable acronym. (I’ll call the food bank: Silly Name Food Bank, making the acronym: SNFB. Obviously, that’s not the real name, but that’s very close to the actual acronym, which is four consonants (the last two being FB, for food bank).)

Yesterday we had a fundraiser at a number of subway stations, asking riders for spare change. The transit authority gave us permission to run the event, but required volunteers to be clearly identified as being with the organization. Since the purpose was to raise money to help cover operating costs (the money wasn’t to buy food, as most people might have expected), the campaign was called: Help us keep the lights on at SNFB! This slogan — the “main message” –was printed on the t-shirts in bold, easy-to-read lettering.

It didn’t take long to realize that as people walked past us they saw SNFB in big letters on our shirts, but that didn’t mean anything to them. We quickly realized we got people’s attention by shouting out sentences emphasizing the words food bank (things like “spare change for the food bank” or “the food bank needs your help”) instead of the campaign’s official slogan.

This was a classic case where the communication was clear (even simple), but ineffective because the message wasn’t relevant to the audience. Though there are rationale reasons for the food bank to be moving away from its official name, emphasizing the “brand” didn’t serve us in this situation. What we needed to focus on was what was important to the subway riders as they passed us: who is hitting me up for cash? The message they needed was that it was a food bank (in other words, a worthy cause) soliciting.

Fortunately, because we were there in person, our loud shouts appealing to people to support the FOOD BANK trumped the non-reader-focused messages of our t-shirts and Torontonians generously opened their wallets to support the cause.

It was a good lesson. You can bet that in future fundraising campaigns we’ll all be paying attention to what the audience needs to know, not just to the message we want to get across.

I write a biweekly e-column and a recent one provoked my sister to e-mail me to say she thinks I’m slacking off on my attention to grammar. Specifically, she commented that I shouldn’t be starting sentences with “but” and “and”.

In response, I told her what I tell people in my writing seminars all the time: it’s perfectly acceptable to start sentences with “and”, “but”, “because”, and so on. Indeed, starting sentences with such words is an especially effective way of drawing attention to a contrasting idea or of adding emphasis.

For the most part, rules of grammar we learned as children serve us well in our adult life. But, sometimes the things we were told were rules (and therefore never to be broken) weren’t rules at all — they were more “rules of thumb” designed to avoid more serious problems. Indeed, the “rule” my sister pointed out probably developed because when children started a sentence with one of those words, they usually wrote a sentence fragment (for example: “But I was tired.”) and it was easier to set down a rule against starting sentences with such words than to explain what a sentence fragment was to an eight-year-old. (So, another way of looking at it is this: as long as you write a complete sentence, there’s no reason you shouldn’t start it with one of the forbidden words.)

The wonderful thing about language is that it’s dynamic. (If you need proof of this, just consider the difference between Shakespeare’s English and today’s.) The changes to our language result in the addition of new words (and new meanings to old words) and modification of the so-called rules of grammar.

Perhaps the main justification for taking liberties with some of the rules of grammar we grew up with is that rigid adherence to these rules tends to lead to formal, pompous-sounding writing that is no longer accepted in today’s business communications. (If you need an example of the evolution away from overly formal writing consider the (welcome) fact that in modern contracts you won’t find phrases like: “the party of the first part” and “the party of the second part”.)

So go ahead — feel free to start your sentences with “and”, “but” and “because” if it’ll suit your purpose and style. And, if someone tells you you shouldn’t do that, just tell them I said you could!

Before starting this blog I argued with my friend Sandy that the pressure regarding the quality of blog postings was different for a writing consultant than for an IT consultant. Obviously, I got over those concerns but I don’t mind admitting that I’m probably not a “true” blogger because I rarely simply sit down, write an entry and post it. I usually compose it and then save it in draft form for awhile, revising it from time-to-time before publishing it.

In defense of my blogging technique, I see it as simply following my own advice. You see, in my writing seminars I urge participants to always allow themselves enough time after finishing a document to let it sit overnight and re-read it the next day before sending it off. (If there isn’t enough time for this, I suggest they at least put it aside and go to the gym, or go meet someone for lunch, or do something that will take their mind completely off of it for a little while.)

If you do this, when you come back to the document (preferably the next day) and re-read it, I guarantee you’ll catch some mistake (hopefully it’ll be an easy-to-fix typo, but it could be something more significant) that you didn’t catch before.

The reason for this is simple: while you’re working on a document your mind is so focused on the subject at hand, you simply don’t notice things like typos. (Indeed, for the same reason your mind sometimes even glosses over important details.) So, by putting the document aside while you concentrate on something else (whether it’s bench pressing more at the gym, or listening to your friend’s boyfriend problems over a coffee), when you go back to the document your mind is refreshed and you’ll be more in the position of the reader than the writer.

If you don’t believe me, sleep on it. Then let me know!

This morning I was reading Barbara Minto’s excellent book, The Pyramid Principle (3rd Ed.) and I came across a comment that moved me so much, I have to write about it.

Here’s the quote (page 160):

“Your objective should be to dress your ideas in a prose that will not only communicate them clearly, but also give people pleasure in the process of absorbing them.” (emphasis mine)

I just love the idea of writing with the intention of giving people pleasure in the process of absorbing ideas! What a great — even noble — goal to aspire to when creating business communications. Talk about reader-focused writing!

I just had to share this …

Canada has two official languages: English and French. As a result, many of my clients’ communications are published in both languages. Being (hopelessly) unilingual, I never get directly involved in the translation process. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it when I write or edit things for those clients.

Planning and production issues
The most obvious impact translation has on any communication project is the need to schedule time for the translation in the overall production schedule. You’d be surprised how many times this is overlooked. As a consultant, I always ask if the client plans on having a French version. If the answer is yes, I always confirm that they have a translator they use (otherwise I will help them find one). I also urge them to contact the translator as soon as possible to make sure he or she can do it based on our planned time frame.

Aside from scheduling, another production-type concern to keep in mind relates to the length of the document. For lack of a better way of describing it, French is wordier than English. (The rule of thumb I use is that a French translation will be about 30% longer than the English version.) So, if you have absolute restrictions on the length of a document, if the English text “just fits”, the French version definitely won’t! (If this happens you’ll be faced with the unenviable — and time consuming — decision of either simply cutting some of the text from the French version or going back and shortening the English version and then re-translating.)

KISS: Keeping it simple and straightforward
The last — but probably most important — thing to keep in mind when you know a document will be translated is to choose words that are easy to translate and to avoid words and phrases that may carry subtle meanings. Things like jargon and industry terms — and even expressions that are currently popular — don’t translate well. In other words, though there might be literal translations for the words, meaning that may be inferred by readers of the original will not necessarily be conveyed in the translated version. Also, keeping the sentence structure simple will make translating easier, saving time and decreasing the risk of mis-translation.

When discussing a project with a new client, I always ask whether they have a style sheet. A style sheet can take many forms, but it basically refers to any formal standards the business has regarding written communications.

Companies with marketing/communications staff often have some rules regarding style, but style sheets are useful for all businesses, not just the very large.

Why bother having a style sheet?
Having a style sheet requires a bit of thought and consideration. But, assuming that the way you present your business is of interest to you, time put into deciding on standards related to your written communications is well spent.

A style sheet is especially important if more than one person in your organization does any of the writing. Having style guidelines that everyone is expected to follow increases the likelihood that communications rise to at least a minimum level. Think of the style guidelines as a kind of quality control for your firm’s communications.

What should be covered in the style sheet?
There are no hard-and-fast rules about what guidelines the style sheet might cover, but the organization’s particular communication needs provide clues as to what common concerns should be addressed.

Here are some common style and format issues you might address on your style sheet:

• permissible (or preferred) fonts — also consider whether you use the same font in headings and text
• permissible (or preferred) font sizes
• numbers of heading and sub-headings used in documents — this should definitely be addressed if you use templates for things like newsletters or reports
• spelling conventions — this may sound odd, but certain words can be spelled (or represented) in a few ways. (If you can’t imagine what I’m talking about, consider: percent, per cent, and %.)
• formal/informal tone — the trend is toward a less formal tone in business writing, for example, using first person (I, we)
• use of gender-neutral language
• formatting rules (or preferences) — for example, whether to indent at the start of a paragraph, whether to right justify text, etc.
• rules (or suggestions) regarding punctuation of vertical (bullet) lists — this is a very sticky subject — all I’ll say about it here is that everyone seems to have their own rules. The best you can do is develop guidelines and require people to apply them as consistently as possible, knowing that there will be plenty of people that question the guidelines.

Lots of other things can be addressed in your style sheet, but this gives you some ideas to start with. Of course, once you’ve developed your style sheet, you’ll probably find there are lots of things you could add to it. By all means, do!

In addition to writing and editing, I do a lot of instructional design work, which means I create course and seminar materials for businesses. The two types of work have many things in common, not the least of which is concern that the information is understandable and interesting to the audience.

Hands up if you’ve ever sat through a business-related seminar that was dull. You know the kind I’m talking about: seminars on topics that are of interest to you, or at least that had the potential to be of interest to you, if only the speaker or instructor managed to engage the participants.

There are many reasons a seminar can end up so boring that all participants focus on is making it to the break and praying that the coffee is still hot and strong enough to keep them awake.

If you were to write a Top 10 list of reasons seminars are boring, I’ll bet high on the list would be “the subject is dull”. To that I say, NONSENSE! I’ll grant you that some topics might not be inherently interesting to you — and I realize there are seminars you might be forced to go to (we’ll leave philosophic questions of free will for some other posting) for work — even so, there’s no reason for the seminar to be boring.

Indeed, there would only be one item on my Top 10 list of reasons seminars and presentations are dull: the person creating it didn’t try hard enough to make it interesting. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true.

Engaging the participants
Though it takes a lot of work to put together any kind of presentation, mere work isn’t enough. You have to put time and effort into making the presentation interesting — and I’m not talking about merely adding humour or modulating your voice. I’m talking about finding ways of engaging those attending so that they are transformed from mere audience members to participants. (After all, as the seminar creator, if all you care about is conveying information, why not write it down and send a report?)

There are a variety of techniques you can apply to make a session interactive. One of my favourite ways (and one that isn’t widely used yet, so it also benefits by seeming innovative) is using audio vignettes to pose a hypothetical that forms the basis for a discussion of the topic.

My introduction to audio vignettes was a seminar for a company’s high-level managers. The session began with a two minute voice mail message regarding an urgent problem that had supposedly just come up. When the vignette ended the seminar leader asked the audience what they’d do if they got a voice mail like that. Hands shot up around the room, with participants eager to share their experiences and offer their two cents. The seminar leader — who was the subject-matter expert on the underlying issue — then led the participants through the subject, directing them toward conclusions based on corporate policies and procedures they’d be expected to apply if they were faced with such a situation.

Crafting audio vignettes
Audio vignettes can be voice mails (a series of voice mails works especially well to introduce conflicting issues or to build the hypothetical), or short speeches (for example, presentations to a board of directors), or even conversations overhead in the coffee room!

Crafting audio vignettes requires creativity, both in terms of coming up with the hypothetical and in terms of scripting it so it sounds real. If you’ll be using the vignettes a number of times, it’s worthwhile hiring professional actors to record them. The key is that the vignettes must sound sufficiently real that the participants buy into it. (Caution: if the vignette sounds cheesy — or if the voice is recognized — participants will not concentrate on what’s being said.)

Audio vignettes help focus attention
Audio vignettes help bring the topic to life by giving participants a real-life situation to consider. I’ve found they’re a particularly effective way of beginning a session (or new topic) because they almost immediately focus the participants on the issue. They can also be effective after technical information has been presented, helping to re-engage the participants after they’ve passively absorbed the information presented.

It pains me to admit I have anything in common with Dick Cheney — but I do. We both use bullets. Of course, the bullets I use are very different from the bullets (oops, I mean “birdshot”) Dick Cheney uses.

The bullets I’m talking about are lists set out in text in such a way that the reader’s eye is drawn to it. The official Plain Language terms is “vertical lists” — a generic term chosen because such lists can begin with:

• numbers,
• letters,
• characters, or
• symbols.

I generally just refer to such lists as “bullet lists”, based on the idea that dots — like those used in the vertical list above — sort of look like bullets. (Or at least this is what I imagine a bullet looks like when it’s coming at you!)

Vertical lists are popular in business writing because they add visual appeal and variety, and they can help in avoiding repetition. But, they have to be carefully crafted and some information does not lend itself to such lists.

Crafting vertical lists — the preamble

There are two parts to vertical lists. The first part is what I call the preamble. Because there’s often (though not always) a colon just before the items listed, think of the preamble as the text before the colon.

The preamble must directly relate to every item listed. In crafting a vertical list, the writer should go back and read the preamble followed by every item to make sure the thought started by the preamble is completed by each listed item.

In the example above, the preamble is “… such lists can begin with:”. As can be seen below, the preamble followed by each bulleted item forms a complete thought:

… such lists can begin with numbers,
… such lists can begin with letters,
… such lists can begin with characters, and
… such lists can begin with symbols.

[Disclaimer: the word processing capabilities on blogger.com are limited and it won’t allow me to indent the above list, as I normally would to draw further attention to it.]

Crafting vertical lists — the items must be similar

The second part of a vertical list is the list itself. Though it sounds obvious, the items listed must all be similar. Not only must they fit with the preamble, they should all be parallel in grammatical structure.

The easiest way of showing what I mean is by example. In the following list the items are not similar and do not all fit with the preamble:

Analyze the transaction to determine whether it was:

1. arm’s length,
2. pursuant to a written agreement,
3. the result of a court order, or
4. the market conditions dictated the sale.

Item number 4 clearly does not fit with the other items. It is different structurally and it does not work with the preamble. The simplest way of fixing the list would be to remove item 4. (You would want to include number 4 in a sentence following the list.)

Using bullets with care!

Clearly bullets have their uses in business communication. But, as Dick Cheney learned this week, you have to use them with great care!

Given that I’m a writer, in a debate pitting words versus pictures, you probably think I’d choose words.

Well, you’d be wrong.

But you’d also be wrong if you think I’d choose pictures.

Instead, I’d advocate for re-framing the issue. (What can I say, every now and then my legal training comes through.) More and more business communications now feature diagrams and charts. This phenomenon started as a result of research that showed some people absorb information better through pictures than words. And the trend is likely to grow, as computer users become more accustomed to, and comfortable with, icons representing things. (Ten years ago, who would have guessed that a cartoon paper clip would come to graphically represent a means of getting help (or an annoyance, depending on your point of view)?)

But using diagrams and charts is not without its perils — and I’m not just talking about charts and diagrams that are sloppy or misleading. The best way to illustrate my point (pardon the pun) is by way of example.

I was reviewing a document recently when I came upon a statement that was very vague. When I questioned the client about what was meant by the comment, the client pointed out that my question was answered in the (fairly complicated) diagram in the middle of the page. Naturally, I felt stupid because it seemed quite obvious once she said it. (Of course, making the reader feel stupid is something most writers — including this client — should generally try to avoid, so my embarrassment was short-lived.)

But, this episode demonstrated rather nicely an important point: don’t assume that everyone will look at diagrams and charts. Though it’s great to include diagrams and charts to aid those who absorb information better through pictures than words, you can’t ignore the fact that some people have difficulty interpreting charts and diagrams and so they routinely ignore them. (Guess which group I fall into?)

So, if you’re using charts and diagrams in a document as well text, important information and conclusions should be made in both the text and the chart. The bottom line is: don’t think in terms of informing the reader using either words or pictures — use both!

A firm recently showed me a two-page bulletin they planned to send their clients. The title of the document indicated that the purpose was to give the firm’s perspective on a proposed change in a regulation that could have an impact on its (the firm’s) clients.

The piece had been reviewed and worked on by a number of subject-matter experts within the firm, including a few who are regarded as “pretty good writers”. The piece was jargon-free and very much written as though someone was speaking, which is why it had passed muster internally and was about ready to go to print.

Though there was nothing wrong with the writing grammatically, structurally the piece did not hang together — it didn’t tell a story. More importantly, from an outsider’s perspective, the point of the document was not clear.

The first page featured a number of paragraphs with information generally related to how the proposed regulation came to into being. But the paragraphs on that page were disjointed and the reader was left with more questions than answers — the most important question being: why do I need to know this? Or, how is this relevant to me?

I knew the firm’s reason for putting out the publication was to help sell consulting services to clients trying to decide what steps they should be taking in light of the proposed regulation. But the approach the firm was recommending for dealing with the regulation was buried on page two. Given that the purpose of the document was to tell people about the firm’s innovative approach, why bury that information on page two? (Another way of looking at it is: why take the risk of assuming the client will even continue on to the second page, especially when the relevance of the document is not clear to the reader from the outset?)

The bottom line regarding business communication is that it’s not enough that it be grammatically correct. The structure of the document is equally important. The structure should reflect the purpose of the document and every piece of information should be clearly relevant to the reader.